We're like a lot better than the average bears
i barfeds in our rink
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
