she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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