Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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