I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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