Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
