are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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