so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
