i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
