margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize