apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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