I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
