At least make sure they are 18
Why
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
she looked like the before picture.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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