Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
