She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize