Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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