Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
