I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
