why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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