Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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