He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I fill condoms, not promises.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
