Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he was CRYING into my vagina
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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