I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
