I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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