420 ftw
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
