I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
