do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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