We're like a lot better than the average bears
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
