I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
