two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
