your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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