they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
