I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize