Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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