We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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