I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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