real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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