And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize