The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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