I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
