Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
