Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
