She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
