Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize