I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
