I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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