I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
