He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
