The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
