peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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