I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
