I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
