In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
