I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
