I just pynch a tree in the face
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize