saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
