Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
