I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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