They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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