Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
