Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
